Trapped in the Kaiba Mansion!
by Shadow-Hikari
Summary: When the gang gets stuck in the mansion with a killer on the loose, terror (and a whole lot of humor) ensues! Please read and review!
1. Introduction and Background Information

- = Introduction = -  
  
Hello, Shadow Hikari here ^^ Well, I was in the mood to do something humorous, so this is the story..  
  
It's a dark, and stormy night. (Haven't we all heard that before?) The gang is stuck in the Kaiba Mansion, (don't ask me why, just use your imagination) and the doors are locked.. not only that, but a killer is among them, and slowly their numbers begin to dwindle.. they have to find a way out, before they all perish at the hands of the killer. Almost everyone is in the story, so check this list if you're not sure. Characters are placed in specified groups, which I have also listed.  
  
Group 1:  
  
Yami Yugi, Yugi Motou, Joey Wheeler, Tea Gardner, Tristan Taylor  
  
Group 2:  
  
Mai Valentine, Weevil Underwood, Rex Raptor, Mako Tsunami, Espa Roba  
  
Group 3:  
  
Marik Ishtar, Yami Marik, Bakura, Yami Bakura, Isis Ishtar  
  
Group 4:  
  
Seto Kaiba, Maximillion Pegasus, Mokuba Kaiba, Serenity Wheeler  
  
And so it begins! Enjoy the story ^^  
  
- = End Introduction = - 


	2. Chapter 1: Trapped

- = Chapter 1: Trapped! = -  
  
[POV: Group 1: Yami Yugi, Yugi Motou, Joey Wheeler, Tea Gardner, Tristan Taylor]  
  
Currently Group 1 is wondering why they're standing in the entrance of the Kaiba mansion..   
  
Yugi: Uh.. why are we here? _;  
  
Joey: I dunno, I was in the middle of beating up my Kaiba plushie.. -evil grin-  
  
Yami Yugi: o_o.. I want a Kaiba plushie too! -whines-  
  
Tea: I know! I'll bash my fat head against the door and see if it opens! -bashes repeatedly-  
  
Tristan: I'M SCARED! ;-; -crawls into the corner and goes into fetal position-  
  
Yami Yugi: -is still whining for a Kaiba plushie-  
  
Yugi: -hands Yami a Kaiba plushie- THERE! SHUT UP ALREADY! _  
  
Yami Yugi: OK! ^^ -does naughty things with the plushie-  
  
Tea: -has a large lump on her head- Hey, maybe if I give a friendship speech, we'll all feel better!  
  
Everyone: NO!  
  
Tea: -sniffle-   
  
Joey: -chews on doggy bone- Hey, this tastes like a donut! Yay!  
  
Everyone: -stares- o_O  
  
**Screams are heard as Tea falls down dead with a pencil stuck through her head, causing everyone to gasp!**  
  
Everyone: Gasp! o_o  
  
Yami Yugi: Wait, did anyone really like her anyway? O_o  
  
Everyone: -shakes their heads-  
  
Tristan: B-But.. what if we're next?  
  
Everyone: -runs around in circles screaming- AHHHHHHHHHHHHH -breathes- HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
[POV: Group 2: Mai Valentine, Weevil Underwood, Rex Raptor, Mako Tsunami, Espa Roba]  
  
Group 2 is in the dining room, and Weevil is hitting on Mai..  
  
Weevil: Hyohyohyo! Don't resist my manly charm! -clings to her leg-  
  
Mai: Get -shakes leg- the the hell -shakes leg- OFF ME!! -shakes leg-  
  
Espa: My psychic powers tell me Weevil is in for a world of pain. -nod nod-  
  
Rex: Look! I'm a dinosaur! RAWR!  
  
Mako: -picking his nose- Is there any fish in this place?  
  
Weevil: -begins crawling up Mai's leg-   
  
Mai: -plies him off- DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU!  
  
Rex: RAWR! I'm a T-Rex! -bites Mako in a naughty place and starts making out with him-  
  
Weevil: o_o -blinks- GAHH!! MUST ESCAPE THE GAYNESS! -runs in circles-   
  
Mako: -is currently making out with Rex-  
  
Rex: -is currently making out with Mako-  
  
Mai: GAHH!! IT BURNS!!   
  
**Weevil is suddenly speared through the neck with a crowbar! He faints to the floor as everyone gasps!**  
  
Everyone: Gasp! o_o  
  
Mai: There is some good in this world after all ^^ -dances on Weevil's corpse-  
  
Espa: SEE!! I AM PSYCHIC!! NOBODY BELIEVES ANYTHING I SAY!!   
  
Rex: -goes back to making out with Mako-  
  
Mako: -goes back to making out with Rex-  
  
Espa: -twitches uncontrollably- WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!! ;-;  
  
Mai: I DON'T WANNA DIE! ;-; Oooh, a cookie.. -munches-  
  
[POV: Group 3: Group 3: Marik Ishtar, Yami Marik, Bakura, Yami Bakura, Isis Ishtar]  
  
Group 3 is on the roof of the mansion, which also happens to be very small.. o_o Marik and Yami Bakura are arguing over who is going to rule the world.  
  
Marik: No! By Ra, I shall rule the world! -snarls-  
  
Yami Marik: -pokes Marik- Teehehe! I poked you @_@  
  
Yami Bakura: Stupid imbeciles! It is I who shall rule the world?  
  
Bakura and Isis: -meekly- Can't we all just get along?  
  
Everyone: NO!  
  
Bakura: Damn, my English accent is sexy.. o_O  
  
Isis: I do believe that I must disagree with that.  
  
Yami Bakura: AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE PURPLE EYES!!!  
  
Marik: ;-; -goes to cry in his little corner-  
  
Yami Marik: -pokes Isis- Teehehe! I poked you, too @_@  
  
Bakura: Need..women.. -turns pale-  
  
Isis: I do believe I have been poked.  
  
Marik: Need.. plushie.. -hugs Kaiba plushie- ^^  
  
Bakura: Hey, I want one too! -fights Marik over the plushie-  
  
Isis: I do believe I would like a Kaiba plushie as well. -eyes glow red-  
  
Yami Marik: -pokes self in a naughty place- Hehe, that tickles @_@  
  
Yami Bakura: -snatches the plushie away and hugs it- IT'S MINE!!  
  
Everyone: -tackles him for the plushie and ends up ripping it into pieces-  
  
Yami Marik: Yay! I got his crotch! -runs off with it-  
  
Isis: I do believe this head portion is very cuddly. -cuddles-  
  
Bakura: -didn't get anything- ;-; -runs after Yami Marik and starts fighting him for the crotch portion-  
  
Yami Bakura: I got his cape! Yay! ^^  
  
Marik: -chews on Kaiba's leg-   
  
**Suddenly, Isis is pushed off the roof by a shadowed figure that quickly disappears, and she falls to her death! Everyone gasps!**  
  
Everyone: Gasp! o_o  
  
**silence**  
  
Yami Marik: So.. who here's in the mood for Parcheesi?  
  
Everyone: Parcheesi! Yay! ^^  
  
[POV: Group 4: Seto Kaiba, Maximillion Pegasus, Mokuba Kaiba, Serenity Wheeler]  
  
Well, all of them are in Kaiba's bedroom.. wonder how Kaiba feels about that.. o_O  
  
Kaiba: ALL OF YOU!! OUT OF MY ROOM!! _  
  
Serenity: -pokes Kaiba- @_@  
  
Pegasus: Kaiba-boy, my love! Come here! -chases after Kaiba-  
  
Kaiba: O_o NOOOOOOOOO! -runs around and trips-  
  
Serenity: Leave him alone, Pegasus! He's mine ;-;  
  
Mokuba: -farts- Yeah! Leave my big brother alone!  
  
Serenity: The..smell.. -faints- x_x  
  
Kaiba: NOOOO!! ;-; -cries-  
  
Pegasus: -pulls Kaiba into the bathroom while he's distracted-  
  
Kaiba: NOOOOOOOOO!! GET AWAY FROM ME!! -scratches violently at the closed door-  
  
Mokuba: -eats corn chips and watches-  
  
Pegasus: -is doing naughty things to Kaiba-  
  
Kaiba: GO AWAYYY! -breaks down door and runs to corner with his pants unzipped-  
  
Pegasus: Aww.. but I was having so much fun..  
  
Serenity: -fainted-  
  
Kaiba: I've lost all my dignity.. -goes into seizures on the floor-  
  
Mokuba: Ooh, that looks cool! Let me try! -imitates Kaiba doing seizures on the floor-  
  
Pegasus: -imitates Kaiba and Mokuba doing seizures on the floor-   
  
Serenity: -wakes up to see everyone doing seizures on the floor- o_O  
  
**Suddenly, Pegasus is struck in the heart by a metal jockstrap and dies! Everyone gasps!**  
  
Serenity and Mokuba: Gasp! o_o  
  
Kaiba: Yay ^^ I mean..err.. gasp! Hey, was that a jockstrap? O_o  
  
Mokuba: -hugs Kaiba plushie- ^^  
  
Serenity: Where did you get that? I want one! ;-; -stomps foot angrily-  
  
Kaiba: I want one too! ;-; Hey, wait a second.. o_o  
  
Everyone: -starts fighting for the plushie-  
  
- = End Chapter 1 = -  
  
Good? Bad? Horrible? If I get at least 5 reviews, I'll do another chapter! 


	3. Chapter 2: Alone

- = Chapter 2: Alone! = -  
  
Noticing the slightly stunned reaction of her reviewers, Shadow decides to have a little "chat" with the crew..  
  
Yami Marik: -itches butt- Why are we here again?  
  
Yugi: I think it's cuz we did something bad.  
  
Marik: Bah, who listens to you anyway?  
  
Yugi: -sniffle- It's true.. ;-;  
  
**Suddenly, the authoress arrives, glaring!**  
  
Me: -glaring-  
  
Everyone: o_o;  
  
Me: Well, it looks like we have a problem, don't we? Certain people are confused about human nature.. –pulls out a pointer thingy and a chart depicting a man and a woman-  
  
Joey: Ooh, that girl's hot..  
  
Me: -slaps Joey and leaves a mark-  
  
Joey: Owwie ;-;  
  
Me: Ahem.. anyway.. –slaps pointer thingy to man figure- This, is a man. –slaps pointer thingy to woman figure- This, is a woman.  
  
Mai: She's not as pretty as I am. Humph.  
  
Me: -angry- WOULD YOU ALL QUIT INTERRUPTING ME?!  
  
Everyone: Yes ma'am. O_o  
  
Me: This man –slaps pointer thingy to man figure- is supposed to like –slaps pointer thingy to woman- this woman! AND THIS MAN –slaps pointer thingy to man figure- IS NOT SUPPOSED TO LIKE –slaps pointer thingy again to man figure- ANOTHER MAN!! IT'S..WRONG!  
  
Rex and Mako: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
Me: Of course, I could help change your mind.. –pulls out electric whip, grinning-  
  
Rex and Mako: We'll behave O_O;  
  
Me: Good! ^^ Anyone want to say the disclaimer with me?  
  
**silence**  
  
Me: -cracks whip-  
  
Everyone: o_o; Shadow does not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, its characters, or any other related indicia!   
  
Me: Hmm.. I think I'll split all of you up now.. ^_^ -snaps fingers and everyone is separated- Well, let's see what happens now!  
  
((A/N: Yeah, I made fun of yaoi.. so what? It's sick and crude, and I only put it in my story to make fun of it, actually. Freedom of speech, dude, and there's nothin' you can do about it. So all you perverted sickos who put men and men together (and vice versa).. go eat a carrot ^^Thanks, enjoy the story.))  
  
[POV: Yami Marik and Mai Valentine]  
  
Currently, there two are wandering aimlessly in the mansion..  
  
Marik: -pokes Mai- @_@ Teehee, I poked you!  
  
Mai: -kicks Marik in the nuts- Teehee, I kicked your balls @_@  
  
Marik: Owwie ;-; -cries and pokes his hair- Ooh, spikey..  
  
Mai: -is walking down a dark hall with Marik- Where are we going, anyway?  
  
Marik: Hopefully somewhere where there's lotsa candy so I can get hyper @_@  
  
Mai: Hoo-ray for hyper-activity! XD –throws chocolate everywhere-  
  
Marik: -dances- ^^  
  
[POV: Seto Kaiba and Serenity Wheeler]  
  
These two are on the roof, where Ishizu's dead corpse is rotting at the bottom o_O..  
  
Ishizu's Corpse: I do believe I have died. It sure is hot the place I have gone.  
  
Seto and Serenity: O_o;  
  
Serenity: Where are we supposed to go? ;-; I'M GOING TO GO CRAZY!  
  
Seto: Too late for that.. -_-  
  
Serenity: -angry- WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?  
  
Seto: It means, that all my buckles are making my skin itch. DAMN THOSE ARTISTS! –itches-  
  
Serenity: -huggles Seto plushie- It makes me feel all happy.. ^^  
  
Seto: -is staring at his floating cape- o_O Why does my cape defy gravity?  
  
**Serenity is suddenly attacked by a rabid Seto Plushie and falls to her doom! Seto gasps!**  
  
Seto: Gasp! o_O  
  
Ishizu's Corpse: Hooray! I do believe I have found someone to join me in this dreadful red place! Why is this horned character laughing evilly at me?  
  
Seto: NOOO!! I LOVED HER SO!! ;-;   
  
**five minutes later**  
  
Seto: Dammit, I want a Seto plushie! –cries-  
  
[POV: Yugi Motou and Espa Roba]  
  
Currently in an elevator.. going to nowhere.. MWHAHAHA!  
  
Yugi: Damn, this elevator takes forever just to go the second floor..  
  
Roba: -uses mind powers- We will never escape.  
  
Yugi: Geez, and I thought I Kaiba was negative.. think positive, okay?  
  
Roba: Why do you wear a buckle around your neck, Yugi?  
  
Yugi: Dammit! I don't know, but it's cutting off my circulation! –is choking now-  
  
Roba: -looks at the elevator going up rapidly- My psychic powers tell me we are about to be squashed, and will die of blunt force trauma to the head.  
  
Yugi: That was oddly specific.. o_O  
  
**Suddenly, Yugi and Roba are squashed, and die of blunt force trauma to the head! Everyone gasps!**  
  
Me: Hey, wait a second.. no one's here to gasp.. –cries- SOMEBODY GASP NOW, OR THEY'RE NEXT!  
  
Everyone: Gasp! o_O;  
  
Me: Much betta ^^  
  
[POV: Marik Ishtar and Mokuba Kaiba]  
  
Stuck in Kaiba's closet.. o_O  
  
Marik: Oompf poomf! (Get off my head!)  
  
Mokuba: Oompf foommf! (Look! We're talking like Oompa-Loompas!)  
  
Marik: -breaks out into song- Oompa, loompa, doodadeedo..  
  
Mokuba: ..I've got another puzzle for you!  
  
Marik: AGGHH! MUST..ESCAPE..CLOSET.. –scratches at door-  
  
Mokuba: Why? I was just getting to the best part! ^^  
  
Marik: NOOOOOOOOOO! THE.. GOOD.. ARGH!!! –is having seizures-  
  
Mokuba: Ooh, I remember that game! –imitates Marik having seizures-  
  
[POV: Yami Yugi and Yami Bakura]  
  
Arguing, not noticing the giant swinging pendulum nearby o_O  
  
Yugi: Tombrobber!  
  
Bakura: Slavedriver!  
  
Yugi: Mongrel!  
  
Bakura: Filth!  
  
Yugi: Worm!  
  
Bakura: Pathetic! Ooh, a cookie @_@ -munches-  
  
Yugi: Hey, why is that pendulum there? O_o  
  
Bakura: Beats me.. let's stand here like idiots and get killed by its shiny blade! –drools-  
  
Yugi: OK! ^^  
  
**five minutes later**  
  
Yugi: Are we dead yet?  
  
Bakura: No.  
  
Yugi: Are we dead yet?  
  
Bakura: No.  
  
Yugi: Are we dead yet?  
  
Bakura: IF WE WEREN'T DEAD TWO SECONDS AGO, WHY WOULD WE BE NOW?!  
  
**silence**  
  
Yugi: Well, are we dead now?  
  
Bakura: ARGH!!  
  
**Suddenly, a mysterious shadowed figure appears and pushes Bakura into the pendulum, then disappears!**  
  
Yugi: o_O Hey, are we dead now?  
  
[POV: Mako Tsunami and Rex Raptor]  
  
In the kitchen..  
  
Mako: -is picking his nose- Any food in this place?  
  
Rex: Rawr! I'm a Triceratops!  
  
Mako: Triceratops do NOT go "rawr"!  
  
Rex: Do too!  
  
Mako: Do not!  
  
Rex: Do too!  
  
Mako: Do not times INFINITY!  
  
Rex: Ouch.. he's got me there ._.  
  
Mako: -rumages through the fridge- Look, moldy blue cheese! Let's eat it!  
  
Rex: OK ^^ It tastes sorta like socks..  
  
Mako: This cheese r0x0rs my s0x0rs =D  
  
Rex: But you're not wearing any socks o_o..  
  
Mako: Are too!  
  
Rex: Are not!  
  
Mako: Are too!  
  
Rex: Are not times INFINITY!  
  
Mako: -mumbles- Copycat..  
  
Rex: -pokes at the mysterious shadowed figure hanging out near the door- Who are you?  
  
Figure: Shh! I'm not supposed to come out for two more lines!  
  
Rex: Ok ^^ Hey Mako, did you say hi to the mysterious shadow thing at the door!  
  
Mako: I, Mako Tsunami, ocean duelist extraordinare, master of the seven seas, expert fisherman.. say hi =D  
  
**Suddenly, Rex is attacked by a rabid Pikachu thrown by the figure and dies! Everyone gasps!**  
  
Mako and Figure: Gasp! o_O  
  
Figure: Hey wait, I'm supposed to disappear mysteriously o_o; -leaves-  
  
Mako: I, Mako Tsunami, ocean duelist extraordinare, master of the seven seas, expert fisherman.. bid you farewell =D Hey, wait.. I'm alone.. –girly scream- EEEEEEKK!!!  
  
[POV: Joey Wheeler, Bakura Ryou, and Tristan Taylor]  
  
Standing in the dining hall, looking stupid and confused.. o_O  
  
Joey: ..so anyway, dat's da story of how I was born in Japan and somehow developed an annoyin' New York accent ^^  
  
Bakura and Tristan: -_-  
  
Tristan: Damn, how come I got stuck with the womanless group? I can't believe you guys can't get girls..  
  
Bakura: Jolly old fellow, I will sock you with my fists of fury if you do not shut your mouth immediately, dear man.  
  
Tristan: o_O FISTS OF FUR-AY!  
  
Joey: ..TALK ABOUT KUNG-FU FIGHTAN!  
  
Tristan: THOSE FISTS WERE FAST AS LIGHTNAN!  
  
Bakura: -cuddles Kaiba plushie- It warms my dear English heart, it does.  
  
Tristan: Hey, maybe the Kaiba plushie can give me advice on a new, non-repulsive haircut! –pulls its string-  
  
Kaiba Plushie: Stupid Wheeler!  
  
Tristan: Must.. obey.. plushie.. –starts socking joey-  
  
Joey: Ow –punched- ow –kicked- ow!! –noogied-   
  
**Suddenly, the Kaiba Plushie is eaten by a giant dinosaur! The dinosaur then proceeds to walk away.. while everyone screams their calls of anguish!**  
  
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! WE ARE SCREAMING OUR CALLS OF ANGUISH!!!  
  
**five minutes later**  
  
Tristan: ..and it was a good plushie, who gave good advice, and had a very nice cape. –puts flowers on a little grave-  
  
Bakura: -sniffle- That it 'twas, my dear fellow, that it 'twas.  
  
Joey: Even though it didn't like me.. –sniffle- IT WAS STILL CUTE AND CUDDLY!  
  
**Everyone proceeds to hold and comfort each other in a cute fashion. Awww.**  
  
- = End Chapter 2 = -  
  
Haha, this was a good one.. more reviews puhleaze, or no continues! 


End file.
